my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
