I just made out with a guy for $7.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
