did you get engaged???
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
