hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
