Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
