Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
