I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
