So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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