I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
