thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Everclear isn't food dammit
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
