How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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