Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
