NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize