What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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