So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
