This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
