And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
