Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
