He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize