PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
