I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
