Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry about my life...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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