Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
