Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
