I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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