We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize