Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
