Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
