So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
