Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
