What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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