We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
