I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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