You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
