I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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