just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
