I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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