I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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