so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
