Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
