Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize