Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just pee around me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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