you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
