I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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