I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
