I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize