she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize