Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
