I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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