I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
