I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
