Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
wow bdsm is so cute
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
