Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm having to shit out rocks
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
