Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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