remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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