Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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