I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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