he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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