just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
