yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
