That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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