But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize