My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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