im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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