I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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