omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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