dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
