hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
