grandma shit on top of the toilet
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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