I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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