My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
