Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
