We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
