i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
