I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
